Father,

I was afraid for so long, and I was overcome by my guilt - so much that I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as You. I was tainted. Dirty. Impure. I didn’t believe that after what happened to me I could be worth anything to You. I didn’t believe that You could love me. How could someone as perfect and lovely as You love something like me?

But You came where I fled. You pulled me into your chest and cried with me. You knew my hurt. You knew my pain. You loved me even though I wasn’t even whole enough to love You back. There in your arms, I began to heal. I stopped running. I started to believe that You weren’t going to leave me just because I failed. You prove Yourself over and over again.

You fight the shame of my mistakes with me, and You believe that I can be better - not because You’re disappointed with who I am, but because You know that who I am is better than who I am pretending to be. I’ve been growing with You for sometime, but God…

I am holding on to my anxiety, my need to control my future, to have my life planned out. I don’t even realize I’m not trusting You, but when I think of just letting it go, I’m untrusting. I have no reason to not believe You. But every time I’ve trusted someone they let me down. Every time I give my heart, it gets broken. I’m afraid without foundation, but I cannot continue under the stress I feel. I cannot keep walking alone. I cannot face tomorrow without help.

Lord, I am crying out to You. Heal the broken places. Fill the emptiness. Help me trust You with all of it. All of my heart.

My child,

Trust Me. I’m never going to let you down. I’m never going to leave. When you feel unloved, I love you. When you feel alone, I am with you.

I know you, and I’ve known you, and I will always know you like I know the days of this earth, like I know the number of stars in your night’s sky, like I know the past present and future. I know your heart’s secret whispers in the places of longing. I know the things you’re afraid of, the things that cause you grief, the things that plague you with guilt.

Nothing is hidden from my sight. I know the lies spoken to you in the darkness of your mind. The lies that eat your insides, spoken by the one I condemned in the garden. The lie that you are not beautiful. The lie that you are unworthy. The lie that you aren’t enough. The lie that I could never love someone like you.

Oh my precious child. Turn your ear from the voice of hatred and fear and Listen to the warmth of my words. Let My sound fill you in those broken places. Let My light wash over your scars like a healing balm. Hear Me. Hear Me now in the depth of your desire, in the drought of your hope, in the emptiness of your soul. Hear my voice and know Me. Know that I am good, and I will never let you down.

I am not a river that runs dry. I am ever flowing. I do not withhold my love. I do not ration my forgiveness. I am constant, and I do not fail.

I did not fail when I created your form, I did not fail when I created your heart, I did not fail when I created your gifts, I did not fail when I created My life in you, and I fought death to reclaim you from evil. I do not fail. I do not lie. I do not fight for anything I deem unworthy.

I fought for you not because you earned it or you deserved it, but because you are mine, and I love you.

I see you struggling to trust Me. You don’t feel like you can give up your anxiety, worries and future to Me. You try to carry your own burdens on your fragile back. You cripple and buckle at the weight and my enemy loads you down with more.

But child, why are you still trying to stand when you know the weight is too great? Why do you fight when I am standing right here? Why do you try to pave a path that is already paved? Trust Me. Oh my child, trust Me, and I will never let you down.

No stones or gems or material things amount to the value of your heart and life to Me. Nothing can compare to the love I have for you, and nothing can compare to the joy you bring Me when you love Me back.

Let go. Take my hand. Let me cradle you in my arms. I, your loving Father, want to take care of you. I can do all things, conquer all things, and redeem all things. Trust Me with all you are.

– Laura Bone, a love letter from God to her